Participate in My Kids' Interests

This whole Twilight business...I can't say that I've experienced kids getting soooo into books in my entire lifetime. Bella this. Bella that. Vampire this. Cullen that.

The Twilight craze, quite honestly, has been making me feel a bit OLD and OUT OF TOUCH. I like to think of myself as one of those cool cats, whose knowledge of cutting edge pop culture belies her 38 years of living. I mean, come on, I watch American Idol. I know a T.I. song or two. I bought a Furbie when they first came out. Groovy, I am.

Well, not to my 10-year-old daughter. In fact, I can see the disappointment on her face each time I pull up to pick her up from school, all fat, in my "late-model" car (hey -- it's paid off!) with my animal rights stickers and Van Morrison blaring on the CD player. To her, I must be sooooo embarrassing.

Yes, it's true, Roxy has outcooled me. She told me the other day that her favorite band was Muse. Who? Exactly. She's like pullin' pop culture out of her hip pocket at speeds that I can't possibly google fast enough to save face. I feel like I'm losing touch.

So, I decided that we'd go see Twilight, the movie version, together. I expected greatness. I mean, afterall, Roxy has read more in her tender 10 years than I've read in a lifetime. That kid devours books. So of course, anything that she has read not one, not two, not three, but FOUR times must be PHENOMENAL, right?

Not so much. Twilight, the movie version, blows chunks. If I was a lobotomized retard who suffered from an ailment called "Tiny Brain Syndrome," I'd think this movie was moronic. How long can two kids stare at one another under the guise of a plot?

The storyline was so one-dimensional that I found myself questioning why Roxy loved it so much. Was she in need of affection? Was her self-esteem so low that she had to bury herself in morose vampiristic love stories to feel good? Did she suffer from Tiny Brain Syndrome?

Then it hit me: Blue Lagoon. That's right, the Brooke Sheilds one. When I saw that movie circa 1980, I loved it! And what was it? A RETARDED LOVE STORY. So, so, sooooooooo corny and cheesy and terrible in every way. But to me, at that time, it was wonderful. To most girls who were about 10 in the early 80's, Chris Atkins was out Edward Cullen.

So, I'm going to stop worrying that there is a hidden motivation behind Roxy's obsession with Twilight. Instead, I'll celebrate the fact that her curiousity about love and romance has taken root in an innocent series of novels.